How to Break Him
by ButterflyKika
Summary: Merlin is now starting to feel the toll of what has been thrown at him. He is breaking, and becoming a shadow of his former self. Only one can save him, but will he discover this truth before Merlin is truly lost forever? *Rating Might Change*
1. Chapter 1: Pressure

**Idea floating around in the head... I own no one... Yet...**

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Merlin was focused on polishing Arthur's armor. The highly expressive face everyone was used to was simply not there. Merlin was showing no emotion, just cleaning the armor until it shone softly enough to let him see his own reflection. His eyes were distant as he was not really looking at it, his mind was else were.

Merlin was remembering things from the time he came to Camelot. The attacks at the beginning were not so bad. Sure he lost the life of his best childhood friend, but that was all he had lost then. Things changed after he killed Nimueh. It was almost like the Old Religion was punishing him for the deed. He had battled an ancient warlock and won by trapping his soul once more in a crystal heart. He helped Arthur become a hidden contestant in a jousting tournament. Helped Arthur later save Genevieve after his father had told him no. He even snuck around to reveal a troll that had married the King and then helped to break the spell she had on him. And then everything started to collapse around him.

Arthur was starting to come around to the idea that not all magic was bad and then Merlin had to lie about Morgouse and only make the man believe magic was evil. Shortly after he had found love and planned to run away with Freya and live a life unchained, that dream came to a crashing end when the very man who was a friend and the one he was to protect killed her without knowing the toll it took on his heart. Merlin did not say anything about it to him when all he wanted to do was shout and hit him for it. It had to have been two weeks after that moment that Arthur had been caught in a love spell in order to make war. Merlin ever faithful helped break the enchantment by getting Gwen to give the Prince True Love's Kiss. He then had to poison Morgana, a woman who Merlin believed would be the first he would tell about his gifts and then have someone to talk to about it all. Now he was sure she hated him for what he had done, he had not any time to explain himself and now would be too late.

The dragon. The thought caused him to pause briefly. That had really taken a great chunk of him. He had released the beast just after Morgana left, and prayed he would just fly away and never return. That was shattered as well when the Dragon began attacking Camelot. Merlin had gone with Arthur to find the last Dragonlord who he learned from Gaius was his father. He had only one afternoon and night in the father and son relationship when the man was taken from him because he dropped his own sword. The grief in him woke the sleeping power that he used to send the dragon far away.

Merlin let out a sigh as he set the armor down. He reached for the sword next in order to sharpen it. His world was crumpling down around him. He could do nothing to stop it as he watched people close to him fall out of his reach. He wanted to cry in the solitude of his room, yet his tears were locked away with him having steeled himself to such an emotional display. He was starting to break under the pressure, and no one seemed to be there to take some of the weight.

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	2. Chapter 2: Nothing to Worry About

**... Popular story much? only started it last night and I have what? 4 reviews in under 24 hours? Well, since you guys like it so much here is the next chapter!**

**I own no one.**

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Gaius looked into the room and frowned before closing the door and returning to his work. He had given up trying to get Merlin to talk, after all as soon as the boy knew someone was looking at him he would pull on a bright a cheerful mask and claim nothing was wrong at all. The older man knew something was wrong, he figured it had something to do with recent events. His gut told him he could not be the one to help Merlin, it had to be someone else. He knew who this person was, and just prayed the man figured it out before Merlin was lost to them forever.

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Arthur was taking a leisurely stroll along the streets of Camelot. He had just finished a mountain of paper work and had some time before he needed to demand his armor and sword from Merlin for training. A woman suddenly grasped his arm making him jump slightly at how strong the old fingers were. "Can I help you?" He asked confused by her sudden reaction, she was just staring at him.

"One close to you is in danger…" She said calmly as if it was a commonplace thing. "Suffering in silence with no one to talk with, it will break him. Take notice Young Pendragon before you loose your shadowed guardian forever…" She then let him go and went back to whatever she was doing as if she had not said a thing at all.

Arthur just stared after her completely confused. He had no idea what she was talking about, no one around him seemed remotely close to breaking. He brushed it off as he walked off to Gaius' to collect his things from Merlin.

He entered the chambers of the Physician with a slight slamming of the door. Gaius looked with a half glare. "There are calmer ways of entering sire…" He said sounding a bit annoyed. "Ones that will not break the door off."

Arthur looked at the door that seemed to be barely hanging onto its hinges. "Sorry, I'll have someone take a look at it later." He said before making his way to Merlin's room. "Merlin!"

Merlin was out of the room with armor and sword in hand with an expression close to his old one. Arthur paused in is walk to him briefly. _'… it will break him.' _Arthur brushed the words away quickly. He had no idea why these words had come up when he saw the manservant before him. Maybe it was the fact that Merlin's eyes were not quite so bright? No, the boy's eyes were always that bright, like an excited young puppy just wanting to please its master.

"On time with it for once I see." Arthur said taking his sword and waiting briefly as Merlin put his armor on him. "Time for training." He then picked up a brisk pace that Merlin was somehow able to keep up with even when stumbling. Arthur completely dismissed the event with the strange woman; there was nothing wrong with the people around him at all. He had nothing to worry about.

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	3. Chapter 3: A Final Warning

**Wanted longer chapter huh? Here you are then! Longer! I own no one here...**

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Arthur had gotten very little sleep that night. His mind was still swimming with the words the old woman had told him, no matter how many times he tossed them aside. And whenever the words came to his mind again, so did an image of Merlin. Arthur was awake by the time Merlin arrived with his breakfast. The servant paused seeing the frown on Arthur's face. He wasn't late again was he?

Arthur looked up to see a slightly nervous Merlin. His frown disappeared as he walked over to the table. "Careful, people might think you are a sorcerer who kidnapped my servant and took on his image to kill me if you keep being on time." He said in a teasing tone. He sat down as Merlin set the food before him now more relaxed.

"I'll try to be late next time then." Merlin said flashing a smile before going over to the closest to pull out Arthur's clothes for the day.

As Merlin went right to work Arthur watched him carefully. His brow furrowed lightly as Merlin went threw more clothes than was normal. He noticed that he was having a bit of a struggle matching them accordingly. Merlin had never failed to find decent clothes for the day, ever. Yet when he pulled out a green shirt for red pants it seemed to hint that the boy had no idea what went with what.

Merlin seemed to catch this as he quickly returned the red pants for a pair of dark brown ones that matched the shirt well enough. It had Arthur frowning again. The normal triumphant look on Merlin's face did not look as merry as it normally did. He took the last sip from his goblet and set it down with a loud enough clank to get Merlin's attention.

Merlin was over there shortly in order to whisk the tray away to the kitchens. "Merlin…" Arthur said off handedly. "Nothing is bothering you is it? I just don't want anything interfering with your duties as my servant is all."

Merlin blinked looking at Arthur before forcing his face into as effortless a goofy grin as possible. "Why would I have anything to worry about?" He asked trying to sound completely clueless. "Besides, I have a Dragon Slayer for a Master, I have nothing to fear… besides him cutting off my head if he ever felt so inclined to do so."

Arthur was satisfied with that, after all Merlin was the only one he knew who could make a complement sound like an insult in regards to him, and in turn make it into a joke. "Fine then." Arthur said waving the topic off. "Muck out the stables this morning, one of the stable boys forgot to do that yesterday. Then bring my lunch here."

Merlin nodded as he left the room with the tray to get to work on the new set of orders. Arthur watched him leave briefly before going to get dressed. '_Suffering in silence…' _The words came unbidden to Arthur's head as he frowned in thought. What could Merlin be hiding that he did not want to share with Arthur? The Prince shook his head again; it had to be just some nonsense from an old woman. He smiled slightly, Merlin had somehow remembered that Arthur was going out for a ride later that day and picked adequate riding garments.

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That afternoon Arthur was at the front of the small riding party with Merlin close behind him, a few of the newest knights following behind them. They were just making a few rounds about the countryside just to see if any riders were deciding to attack.

At about mid-afternoon Arthur called for a break of which the knights greatly enjoyed the thought of. Arthur walked off into the forest Merlin at his heels in search of some wood to bring back for a small fire. "Merlin look over in that direction, and no twigs this time." He said evenly pointing to his left. Really what would they do with twigs?

Merlin nodded before lumbering off to gather the requested wood. Arthur went to the right and soon came to a cave. The air felt a bit warmer at the entrance than the rest of the air. That caught his attention. He drew his sword and slowly made his way into it.

He rested a hand on the wall, as it was quite dark inside, he just hoped it was some natural happening and not something more magical. He stopped dead in his tracks as he entered the main chamber. Before him was the Great Dragon, who should have been dead.

The dragon turned to face Arthur yet made no move to attack. "Ah, the Young Pendragon." He said turning into a more comfortable position. "Don't worry, I shall not harm you. I do after all value my life and don't wish to be on the receiving end of your Warlock's wrath."

"_My Warlock_?" Arthur said in disbelief. "I don't have a _Warlock_!" Maybe this dragon was senile. He had heard it was quite common with older beings. "Magic is banned in Camelot! And what are you doing alive? I killed you!"

The dragon chuckled at that. "You? Kill me?" He said before chuckling again. "Only a Dragonlord can do that." He smiled as he regained control of himself. "And you do have a Warlock. He practices his magic in secret, all the while saving your life and loosing bits of himself."

Arthur now looked completely confused. Why would a magical being do that for him? Knowing fully well that he was the son of a King who would hunt them down and kill him just because he did magic? "Does he have a death wish?" Arthur asked still tense about the being before him.

Dragon looked thoughtful for a bit. "That one is debatable." He said finally. "Some say he hunts his own death, and some say he is loyal to a fault. Yet in truth he just believes very much in the Kingdom you will create."

Arthur now looked even more confused. "What is a Warlock anyway?" He asked, he had guessed it was a magical being of some sort.

The Dragon smiled more. "He is a True Warlock really…" He said before explaining things. "A Warlock is a man who can perform magic from a very young age, often times as young as two years of age. You have met a Warlock, Mordred." He waited briefly for that to sink in before continuing. "A True Warlock is a man able to magic from their birth, they do not choose magic, magic chooses them."

Arthur's mouth hung open at that. People were born able to do magic? People who could not help what they were just as much as he could not help being a Prince? The Dragon only smiled again as it sank into Arthur's brain.

"This True Warlock, that is yours, is the other side of your coin." He said firmly. "One of you cannot live without the other, simply because you balance the other one out. Yet, your father's hate of magic has caused him to hide his deeds in your service. He takes on a mighty burden with no one to help him, and so he suffers in silence. More so after he killed Nimueh, the High Priestess of the Old Religion. The gods of that realm are not pleased with such an action and so have taken away his love and his father, after him only just meet them for such a brief amount of time."

Arthur sank to the ground now. How could anyone sacrifice so much just for him? He looked at the dragon again, a calm look about the beast.

"Notice him soon Arthur." The Dragon said sounding most grave. "The pressure is becoming too much for him, and soon he will break under it. If he does, his magic will consume him, and you will loose Emrys, forever." It was with that, that the dragon stood up and began to fly threw the hole in the ceiling.

Arthur's head was spinning. He had a magical protector, one who let him take all the credit, him or someone else. He demanded no reward, he just did it, and all because he believed Arthur would be a great King.

"Arthur?" Arthur snapped out of his trance when he heard Merlin's voice. He would have to find this Emrys, and soon, he could not loose an ally like that. He stood and walked towards the cave opening and toward Merlin who was looking about the forest concerned, almost as if panicked for having let him out of his sight. Merlin then spotted him and half ran over. "Arthur?" He asked the concern laced in his voice.

"I'm fine Merlin." Arthur responded. "Just got a little turned around in there is all." He looked back to the cave. "Merlin… Do you know anyone named Emrys?"

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	4. Chapter 4: Cracking

**o.o So many reviews... Okay here you go! I own no one!**

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Merlin gulped lightly at the question. "Emrys?" He asked confused. "Why would you want to find someone named Emrys?"

Arthur looked at Merlin who had now become nervous. "No reason, just curious." He said before moving on. "Do you know any one by that name?"

"Sounds like Druid name…" Merlin said catching up quickly. The wood was still in his arms. "Maybe they will know at least one person by that name?"

Arthur thought about it for a moment. It made sense; go to the source of the name. He turned to Merlin now. "Are you sure you're my servant?" He asked looking him over. "You are on time, and just said something intelligent. My own servant cannot do such things, he is just too, Merlin."

Merlin looked at Arthur. "Too Merlin is the best you can do?" He asked stopping in his tracks. "I am concerned that you have used up all your best insults now."

Arthur just gave him a pointed look as they continued on.

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The rest of the ride went over fairly well, no riders crossing the borders. Arthur was still musing over the information he learned when Gwen came running towards them, heading for Merlin.

Merlin noticed something was wrong, as her face was a bit white. Merlin was off the horse shortly and at her side. "Gwen?" He asked concern now very clear in his voice. "What is it?"

"Merlin…" Gwen said catching her breath. "I'm so sorry! Gaius… He… He had a fall. It is doubtful he will recover." Merlin was now rushing towards the physician's chambers. "I'm so sorry!" Gwen broke down into tears as she called after the boy.

Arthur had only heard bits of the conversation. He knew Merlin thought of Gaius almost like a father. He frowned; he could not do anything right now to comfort the boy. He had to report to his own father the findings. He dismounted and walked off to the castle.

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Merlin entered the chambers and was at Gaius' side quickly. "Gaius?" He asked carefully. The older man looked at him and smiled slightly.

"Merlin." He said reaching a hand up to rest it on Merlin's cheek. "Don't worry, I am old, just never thought a fall would do me in. You behave yourself all right? Stay out of trouble." His expression softened. "Try and find someone you can confide in. You need that outlet Merlin." He smiled again. "Please Merlin, don't let things get too out of hand for yourself."

Merlin was frowning as he took Gaius' hand. "Come on Gaius, you'll be fine." He said trying to sound sure of that fact.

Gaius let out a small chuckle. "Who is the physician here?" He asked calmly. "Merlin, please promise me you won't let your gifts consume you." He had taken an urgent tone.

Merlin picked up on it and nodded. "I promise." He said his voice shaking now. He barely noticed the door opening and closing behind him. However he felt the hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Arthur standing behind him. He turned back to Gaius who was now looking at Arthur.

"Something tells me you can get him to talk sire." Gaius said calmly. He smiled slightly before closing his eyes. His breath slowed and finally stopped. Merlin watched the sight and made no noise.

That confused Arthur, Merlin was always emotional during things like this, even for people he knew nothing about. This time Merlin was making no show of tears, or even shaking. "Merlin, I want you to have the rest of the day off." He said calmly. He only saw Merlin nod lightly.

Arthur began to head for the door when Merlin called to him. "About your question earlier…" He said taking a shaking breath. "I'm known as Emrys to the druids…" He made no move after that.

Arthur turned and stared at Merlin. Things clicked in his mind, everything made sense now. His strides were quick and long as he went back to Merlin. "Merlin…" He said softly. "Just talk with me alright?"

Merlin looked up at Arthur and saw the concern in his face. "Arthur please don't make me put that kind of a burden on you." He said equally as softly.

Arthur was down at his level shortly. "I talked with the dragon." He said watching as Merlin's face paled more. "From what I have heard, you deserve my listening at least. I don't fully understand what you have done, and I won't pretend to do so. However, I do ask that you tell me."

"I can't." Merlin said now standing and stepping away and towards his room. "Maybe to someone named Arthur, but not _Prince_ Arthur." He took another step back. "I can't make him choose between a servant and his father the King. I'm fine, really, or at least I will be, this is just a shock. That is all." He retreated into his room not wanting to continue the conversation.

Arthur frowned at that. The boy was far too loyal for his own good. He looked down at the floor and then up at Gaius' still form. He then stood and left the room. He had something he needed to do right now, and that was have a short conversation with his father.

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**Please do not hurt me for that... Had to do it for drama! He shall be mourned do not worry...**

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	5. Chapter 5: Tossing a Lifeline

**Sorry it took me a while. was a bit stuck on how to do this one... Now I have notes and know how to go about this thing! Right! I own no one, yet enjoy!  
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Uther looked up from the paper he had been reading. He had begun reading it shortly after Arthur had left from giving his report. He had heard about Gaius and the fact he was passing, he however had the legal matters to look over. Mostly starting applications for a new physician. However right now he had been looking at the man's will.

"Arthur." He said with a small smile. "What is it?"

"I would like to request an extended hunting trip." Arthur said calmly. "Just one week, nothing too long."

Uther looked at him carefully before picking up a piece of paper he had been taking notes on. "You are taking your Manservant I am guessing?" He asked walking over with it in hand.

"Yes, it is not like I will be able to carry all of it on my own." Arthur replied his eyes landing on the paper in his father's hand curiously.

"Very well, Make sure he takes all his things then." Uther said handing the paper over. "It is a list of things Gaius has left him." He waved that fact off quickly. "He will be moving to the servants quarters when he returns. I doubt the new physician will want him about."

Arthur nodded holding back his tongue. Gaius had been a friend of his father's for years. He understood the need for a new physician, but the man was being unfair to Merlin. "Might I suggest the chambers near mine?" He said calmly catching his father's questioning gaze. "Just because he is my servant and with him that close I could call him whenever I need him."

Uther seemed to find sound logic in this and nodded. "I shall arrange it then." He said sitting back down. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning." Arthur said before receiving a dismissing wave. Arthur left the room with a careful bow and headed back to Merlin.

On his way he looked at the list of items left to the boy. It was books mostly. He blinked lightly; he had not expected that, or the fact that the titles suggested that they were about all sorts of magical beasts and illnesses. He entered the chambers and noticed people were already covering Gaius' body and preparing it.

Arthur walked past them to Merlin's room and entered to find him curled up on the bed just staring at a wall with a blank expression. He cleared his thought to catch his attention. Merlin quickly sat up and looked at Arthur. "Wasn't I given the rest of the day off?" He asked curiously.

"You were, and you still have it off." Arthur said calmly. "However tomorrow morning we are going on a week long hunt. You need to pack your bag with all you own tonight. A new physician will be here when we get back and you will be moving into the room next to mine." Merlin blinked lightly still a little confused until he figured a new physician would not want him about. "This is a list of things Gaius has left to you." Arthur handed the list over. "Be ready by sunrise."

Merlin looked at the list in his hand and looked up at Arthur. "Thanks…" It was said in almost a whisper, but Arthur had paused slightly in his walk to show he had heard it before continuing on.

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The following morning Merlin was in Arthur's chambers just as the sun was coming up. Arthur was already awake and was a bit surprised to see Merlin entering so early. He shrugged it off though seeing as the boy was completely ready to go. "Right then." Arthur said picking up his bag to have Merlin take it from him. Arthur was about to protest after seeing the weight in Merlin's back yet stopped. A Servant would carry their master's bag. "Let's go then."

Merlin followed Arthur to the waiting pair of horses in the courtyard below. Another servant was yawning as they waited for the two of them to appear to take the animals. Merlin set the bags in place on the beasts before helping Arthur get onto his horse before following suit and getting on his own.

Arthur took off at a trot towards the city gates Merlin close behind him. Arthur glanced back at Merlin before smirking. He had not been entirely truthful with his father. Yes he would hunt, but he had heard Merlin clearly in that one conversation. As soon as they were far enough away from the castle Arthur slowed down and was now at Merlin's side instead of in front of him.

"This isn't really a hunt." He said calmly almost hearing Merlin's head snap toward him. "On this trip, it is just Arthur, not Prince Arthur." He looked at Merlin hoping the boy would figure it out.

Merlin stared at Arthur in slight shock. "Arthur…" He said a frown coming to his face. "After this you go back to being Prince Arthur…"

Arthur looked at him and sighed turning his head away. This was going to be harder than he originally thought.

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	6. Chapter 6: Talk to Me

**Next Chapter guys.**

**Also, a response to a review left behind. I do write because I love to. However I have three stories going on at the same time. I will pay more attention to whichever story is getting more attention. That is all it is. I have them mostly planned out already, I just wanting to update the ones people are more interested in first. Reviews are my way of knowing that.**

**I own no one, please Enjoy!  
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It was about midday when Arthur declared they should rest for a bit. Merlin tended to the horses while Arthur went to find some firewood. He decided to strike up some conversation seeing as he stayed fairly close by. "So why do the Druids call you Emrys?" He asked as if it was a common question.

Merlin tensed a little bit as he thought it over in his mind. "I think they just have me mixed up with someone else." He answered. It was not an entire lie, when he first heard himself called that he was a bit confused and thought they had the wrong person. That is until the Dragon told him that Emrys was just another name for him.

Arthur frowned lightly. The Druids were quite intelligent; it was highly unlikely that they would confuse one person for another, less so for them to continue calling them that for very long. "That seems strange. Why would they continue to call you that then if you are not that person?" He asked trying to find the truth in this.

"As a joke maybe?" Merlin offered. He was now finished with the horses and was busy pulling out the food. Just enough for a simple lunch really. Gwen had gotten wind of the trip and had somehow managed to pack a few pieces of raw meet for early in the journey.

Arthur spotted the meat and became curious about it. "Where did you get that?" He asked a bit offended that Merlin doubted his hunting skills despite him being able to get something even with Merlin with him on the hunts.

Merlin looked at him and then the meat, the meaning of the question clicking in his head. "Oh, Gwen." He said with a cheerful smile. "She said there was enough for the first day only though. Just to give you plenty of time to hunt for something."

Arthur blinked at that. "Oh…" He said a faint blush coming to his cheeks. Gwen had thought about them and offered something so simple. He looked at Merlin's face to see a slight smirk there. "Shut up."

"I said nothing." Merlin replied now looking for the herbs he had packed as Arthur began working on setting up the fire.

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They ended up hunting a bit after lunch returning to the same campsite. Merlin started the food cooking again before heading to the horses to get the bedrolls out only to find Arthur already walking back with them in hand. "I can do that…" He said reaching for the bedrolls.

Arthur only held them out of his reach. "Again, on this trip you are not a servant, nor I a Prince." He said calmly as he set them down. "We are merely two people on a hunting trip. Equals." He stressed his last word to Merlin with a pointed look.

Merlin just sat at the fire again and continued to cook the food. Arthur sat next to him and watched carefully incase he needed to offer another meal to Gwen, a proper one this time. "Why won't you tell me what is going on?" Arthur asked him suddenly. "And don't say it is because I am the Prince. Honestly, I talked with the Dragon I supposedly killed and found alive."

Merlin's head snapped toward him. "You what?" He asked his voice going up a few notes as his face paled slightly.

"How do you think I learned about the name Emrys?" Arthur said turning to face him. "Merlin, please talk to me. What he said scared me a bit, and then the fact you told me you were Emrys. Merlin, talk to me."

Merlin looked at Arthur before shaking his head and moving away. "You would not like it." He said looking to the flames. "You already have enough to deal with when it comes to the Kingdom."

Arthur stared at Merlin a frown on his face. "Something tells me your burden is greater…" He said softly reaching a hand over to place on Merlin's shoulder finding the boy just out of his reach.

"I'm fine." Merlin said poking the fire lightly and checking the meat.

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That night while Merlin was sleeping he heard voices in his head. _Murderer… Traitor… Liar…_ The three words rang threw his ears for a few minutes before the past few months started playing in his memory. He was reliving every point in his life since he had killed Nimueh. He snapped up trying to catch his breath having forgotten to breath while the events played in his mind.

Arthur had kept on ear on Merlin's breathing and snapped awake when the boy had stopped. Concern etched in his face as the young ma snapped upright breathing like he had just surfaced from nearly drowning. "Merlin, _please_, talk to me." Arthur pleaded as soon as Merlin's breathing was under control.

"I can't Arthur." Merlin said softly. "I just _can't_…"

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	7. Chapter 7: A Question

**I know this chapter might read a bit strange. Word was driving me crazy as I wrote it. And this one is a bit of a fly by. My apologies, but I want to get into what will happen next big time!**  
**I own no one. Enjoy!  
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Arthur looked about the small camp the pair of them had set up. The rabbits he had killed that morning already up and out of the reach of most other forest life. He had just woken up from a nap he had taken after lunch. He looked over at Merlin seeing him asleep now.

He would wake him later. Merlin had stayed up the rest of the night after he had woken up. Arthur sighed lightly getting up to make sure the horses were securely in place. He returned and noticed something about Merlin. He walked over to him and knelt down.

Merlin was sweating and had an expression as if he was experiencing or reliving something unpleasant. Arthur frowned as he tried to gently wake Merlin up. However he had no success. If anything it only made Merlin's face contort even more.

Arthur looked around the campsite for anything he could use to help Merlin, he found nothing around them, and then he heard a twig snap and looked up. The man before him appeared to be a druid, he was after all wear Druid clothing.

"Are you having some trouble young Pendragon?" He asked, his voice sounding a bit familiar to Arthur.

"How do you know my name?" He asked first. He never met this man before in his life.

"How I know your name is not the important thing here." The man said calmly kneeling down and looking over Merlin. "His condition is not good."

"Can you help him?" Arthur asked looking pleadingly at the man before him.

"If you answer my question truthfully." The man said looking straight at him. "Does Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot choose his loyal Servant, or does he choose his father the King?"

Arthur stared at the man. It was a question of whom he was more loyal to, that much was clear to him. However he did not like how the question was asked. "Merlin is not a loyal Servant, he is a loyal Friend." His voice was firm as he spoke. "I choose my friend. Please help him." Merlin was in Arthur's arms and Arthur only held him closer as he pleaded for the assistance he needed.

The man smiled slightly. "Very well." He said standing. "We shall head to the Isle of the Blessed." He walked over to the horses and untied them. "Leave the rest of the stuff here. It is not needed."

Arthur had already forgotten about it as he carried Merlin over to his horse. He set him on it before getting up quickly behind him in order to hold him in place. The older man set out ahead of him.

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They reached the lake at nearly midnight. "Not much time to waste." The man said dismounting the horse that had been Merlin's for the trip. He walked over to a boat and waited for Arthur to catch up still carrying Merlin. "Get in." Arthur followed the instruction currently only thinking about Merlin. He nearly jumped, as the boat started moving on its own as soon as the man got in himself.

It came to a rest calmly at the Isle and the Man got out and lead Arthur to an alter in the center of the Isle. "Place him on it and then lay down yourself next to him, your feet at his head, and his at yours." The man said as Arthur quickly did as he was told.

"Wait, you are going to use magic aren't you?" Arthur asked sitting up. Merlin he trusted, but this man was another factor entirely.

"Just lie down and close your eyes." The man said. With one last look of doubt before he did just that. The ancient words filled his ears as he slipped into the magical sleep. The world around them disappeared until even the words faded from his mind.

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	8. Chapter 8: Dreaming Begins

***pants* Okay! Another chapter! I is on a roll! I own no one! Enjoy!  
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The darkness surrounded Arthur completely. "Merlin?" He called out looking around for the warlock.

"You shouldn't be here…" Merlin said from behind Arthur causing him to whip around. He saw the fear on Merlin's face first.

"I am not going anywhere until I know you are fine." Arthur said grasping Merlin's arm firmly. "Please Merlin, let me help you."

Merlin shook his head. "No, you really should not be here Arthur." He said stepping away. "It…" He was cut off though as the blackness around them started to shift. "No! Not again! Please!" Merlin now had his head in his hands with his eyes closed.

"Merlin!" Arthur said trying to get Merlin to look at him. They were soon in what looked like a royal nursery. "What the?" He said softly letting go of Merlin to walk over to the crib. He looked inside and saw a blond babe squirming like he was upset. He then saw a translucent, blue glowing hand gently brush the babe's hair aside.

"Shhh…" Came a comforting voice that caused Arthur to look up. His eyes widened at the sight. The man before him had the same look as that glowing orb of light from when he was getting the Mortaeus flower. This man looked like a more grown up version of Merlin. "Really Arthur, you can be such a little prat sometimes…" The voice held the affection of a brother and was strangely comforting to Arthur. He felt a person next to him and looked to his side to see Merlin there.

"What is this?" Arthur asked him completely confused. The babe in the crib had quieted down and was sleeping peacefully once again.

"I have no idea…" Merlin said amazed at the sight before them. "This is new for me…"

The door opened followed by sure footsteps only for them to pause. "Guards!" Thundered a voice that they both knew very well. They whirled around and saw a younger looking Uther. The figure standing near the crib only sighed lightly before reaching for the child once again. "Do not touch my son you vile pile of scum!"

The eyes of the being comforting the now woken up child locked right on Uther. "Uther Pendragon, you have created for yourself many enemies in your misunderstanding of Magic." He said his voice low and every word pouring with power and strength. "Mark my words a time will come when I shall return, however it will be to protect this son that you prize from the product of your greed!" His attention then turned to the baby again. "I must go now… I shall see you again years from now." A smile formed on his lips, the same sloppy smile Merlin would wear sometimes. "Try not to be too much of a prat now young Prince."

It was with that the being turned into the orb Arthur knew and floated over the crib giving a soft glow that calmed the baby once again before shooting off threw the window. It pulled Merlin and Arthur with it as it traveled at a fast rate only to end at Merlin's home in Elador. The three were outside the door when they heard the sound of a baby cry; the orb passed threw the wall leaving the boys to watch threw the window. Hunith was holding a small bundle in her arms when she saw the orb. She watched it go to her son and cover him in wonderment. She did not feel any ill will towards her child and so did nothing. The mid-wife had her back turned the entire time as the orb of magic covered the newly born child and glow for a few more seconds before returning to a normal bundle.

The mid-wife turned around to look at her. "So, what are you going to call him?" She asked drying her hands on a towel.

Hunith smiled sweetly. "Merlin." She said softly. She hugged the form in her arms knowing already she had something special to look after. "My dearest little Merlin."

Arthur just stared at the sight. Merlin had been born as vessel for being who had comforted him at such a young age. He looked at an equally shocked Merlin. The world around them started to shift again. Merlin looked around wildly not knowing what this place would show next.

They were in the courtyard of Camelot. There was a crowd around the executioner's platform. "Where, or when are we?" Arthur asked finally only to have Merlin's hand grip his arm very firmly. He looked next to him to see his face turn snow white. "Merlin?"

"This is the day I came to Camelot…" He said pointing to himself in the crowd. Sure enough he had a traveling bag on his back and was looking around curiously. The execution that had rocked Merlin's world then played out before them. Arthur saw the fear come to the other Merlin's unsuspecting face as he heard what the crime was and what the punishment was. Then there was the flicker of complete horror as the axe fell down on the man's neck.

Arthur wanted them out of there now. This scene was clearly distressing Merlin greatly. It was not the best way to enter a new home. The area around them shifted again to the banquet that was held after the two of them had met twice already.

Arthur watched as the younger Merlin covered his ears at the beginning of the singing, he then saw the flash of gold and froze in place. He had not been expecting Merlin to do magic. He had no idea what he was thinking, maybe that Merlin secretly knew how to fight? It did not matter as the chandelier above fell on the witch breaking her spell and waking everyone up. Arthur saw as time slowed and Merlin pulled him out of the way of the flying dagger.

The place went black again as Arthur rounded on Merlin. "You can use magic?" He nearly shouted.

Merlin shrank back a depressed look on his features. "I told you that you should not be here…" He said stepping back. "You would not understand…"

"Understand what?" Arthur said throwing his hands up in the air. "That you have saved my neck I have no clue how many times now with magic? You should have told me!"

"I could not tell the Prince…" Merlin said softly just wanting to run away.

"Oh no you don't!" Arthur said putting a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "I am not going to leave your side threw this entire ordeal!" His voice had taken on a more noble quality. "You are not doing this alone. Not anymore."

Merlin looked up at him with sad eyes as the blackness shifted again. They were in Gaius' chambers. Merlin unconscious on the bed in the room, half the scene shifted to show Arthur in the cave. Arthur heard the strange words and watch Gaius send Gwen for a bucket of water before pulling back the sheets covering Merlin.

Arthur watched in awe as Merlin used magic in such a near death state. The orb of blue light was in his right hand just as an orb floated down next to Arthur hanging on the cliff ledge. The same light that helped give Arthur the strength to continue onward. The light that guided him out not even caring if Arthur got the flower or not, Arthur stared at the panting Merlin at that. Merlin had told him to forget the flower and just get out of there. Even when dying, the boy was more concerned about Arthur staying alive.

The blackness surrounded them again. "How can this be so bad?" Arthur asked Merlin. "You seemed afraid when it first started." He turned to see the white face of Merlin.

"Arthur leave now, please…" Merlin begged. "It only gets worse from her on out."

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**R&R? Maybe?**


	9. Chapter 9: Not Yet Safe

**... Not yet done... More to come... I own no one, enjoy.  
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The scene finally settled, Arthur knew the cave in just a few moments. The Questing Beast being the biggest clue as to where they were. Arthur watched as he himself was bitten and fell down on the rocks in an unconscious state. He saw the torch being waved in the air and looked up as the other Merlin was waving it trying to get the attention of the beast.

It had worked as the creature rounded on Merlin and tried to attack, Merlin used magic once more to send the sword into it effectively killing it. He watched as Merlin went to his other self's side and panic set in. The knights on the scene shortly none the wiser about what Merlin had done. The scene shifted to were Merlin was trying to cure Arthur with his own magic, having no affect what so ever.

He looked to the Merlin next to him to watch his head bow in defeat as the scenes played out. It shifted again and Arthur knew that alter. "The Isle of the Blessed…. We are there now." He said softly feeling Merlin tense next to him. He looked up and saw Nimueh performing kind of ritual. Her attention was drawn away as Merlin entered the scene.

Arthur listened to the conversation and made a mental note to talk with Merlin about the value of lives later. Really now, just how many times had Merlin offered up his life for Arthur's? He dismissed the thought as he watched the deal be made and Merlin run off with the rainwater. Arthur continued to watch what played before him holding onto Merlin the entire time, just to make sure he was still there. It finally ended with Merlin summoning a lighting bolt to kill the High Priestess. Arthur's jaw dropped, sure he had expected Merlin to kill before if the fight for Elador was anything to mention, but this was different. It was only one extremely powerful being, and Merlin did not blink or really hesitate before just killing her.

_Murder…_ The word softly floated threw their ears. Arthur looked about confused trying to find the source as the world around them went back to black. "Merlin…" He said softly turning to the boy in question. "What is going on with you?"

"Arthur please leave…" Merlin whispered, the desperation clear in his voice.

Arthur ignored him as the scene was once again changing. They were at the lake, and Arthur noticed Merlin carrying someone to the edge. He went closer and froze. He remembered that girl. It was the Druid girl from a few months back. She was in the dress he had thought Merlin was taking for himself. He remembered dealing the killing blow on her. What had made him freeze was the pain he saw in Merlin's eyes. He whipped around to face the Merlin had been traveling with only to see the younger man shrink away.

"Merlin…" He said lowly staring between the two Merlins. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You need to leave…" Merlin said once again. He wanted to cry and scream, Arthur saw that on his face, however something was preventing him from doing just that. Arthur took a step toward him with an outstretched hand. Merlin took a step back just out of his reach.

The blackness surrounded them again, Merlin still just out of Arthur's reach. "Please Arthur." He begged looking at him right in the eyes. "Go, leave me."

"No." Arthur said firmly as the scene changed. It was the Morgause incident. He watched as Merlin and Gaius talked about what Merlin had seen. Arthur stared it had been the truth. He watched as Merlin told the straight up lie in order to prevent Arthur from killing his father. He was about to round on Merlin to explain why when he got his answer. The scene changed quickly to one with Gaius and Merlin talking. Gaius had asked the same question Arthur was about to ask. Merlin had protected him from everything, including himself.

"Merlin…" He said softly. "You are taking on too much." He looked over at Merlin again as another word rang threw the air. _Liar…_

Merlin shrank back again in the blackness that had surrounded them again. Arthur now saw the inner turmoil going on in his ever-loyal servant.

The scene changed once again to show the raid on the campsite of people that where trying to overthrow Uther. Arthur spotted Merlin in his hiding place and watched as he darted out after Mordred and tripped him up with plant life so two guards could capture him. However the small Druid boy sent two fallen spears at them and glared sharply at Merlin.

_Traitor…_ The word rang out firmly threw the blackness that once again settled around them. Arthur was about to talk to Merlin again when the scene shifted again. The entire Dragon ordeal played before them. Everything, from the point were Merlin had to make the strong promise to free him to get the information to save Camelot and Uther from Morgause and the knights she had brought back to life, to the time Merlin sent the dragon away and told Arthur he had killed it.

The blackness fell on them again and Arthur turned to Merlin who had taken to running away. Arthur took after him panic setting in. He saw Merlin trip and just curl into a ball. Arthur stopped before Merlin just as the voices started to sound again.

_Murderer… Traitor… Liar!_ Merlin was shaking slightly as the voices continued. Arthur frowned seeing the effect. "Ignore it Merlin!" He said firmly crouching down near him. "You are only a traitor if you betray the place your loyalties lie. Everyone lies from time to time, your lies however have been to protect someone. As for murder, that woman had tried to destroy Camelot! You were going what any decent knight would do!" The words kept ringing threw the darkness frustrating Arthur. "Shut up!" He bellowed finally. The voices stopped finally. Merlin shaking slowed as he found the voices no longer there.

Arthur stood up and held his hand out to Merlin. "Merlin…" He said softly now focused on him entirely.

Merlin looked up and saw the offered hand; his own began to reach for it as Merlin looked up at Arthur's calm face. "Merlin, let me help." His voice was just as calm as his face. Merlin looked at the hand again and his own hand hovering close to it. He glanced back up and saw the friendly smile there. "Don't do this alone."

Merlin looked back at the hand and let his own take it. Arthur pulled him to his feet and a white flash of light surrounded them. They both woke up on the alter afterwards. Arthur sat up first and looked over at their hands. They were still connected. He had not held his hand at the beginning. Merlin was now sitting up and saw their hands as well. He looked over at Arthur and gulped lightly.

"Hey…" Arthur said softly not noticing the man was still there. Merlin stared at Arthur for a moment before he broke down, all his pain and grief finally breaking free. Arthur reacted by pulling him closer and just hugging him. He said nothing as he just let Merlin cry.

After what seemed like hours Merlin finally stopped and pulled away. "It is good to see you well." The man said making himself known to them finally. "However you are not completely safe."

Merlin stared at him confused. "Kilgharrah?" He asked able to place the voice.

The man chuckled before glowing gold and changing form into the dragon. "Understandable you would know." He said lying down now. "You have talked with me more times than the Young Pendragon here."

Arthur stared at the clear form of magic before him. "You can hide right in plain sight?" He said in disbelief. His father's head would spin if he knew that.

"Yes, unfortunate there is a time limit to how long I can keep the form." He said calmly. "You cannot stay here though. Merlin is not very welcome here. At least not after he killed Nimeuh, the high priestess."

Arthur nodded lightly already getting off the Alter. Merlin followed suit, they both were a bit weak when they stood and had to hold onto the Alter. "What is going on?" Arthur asked looking at the dragon.

"You were in that state for three days." He answered clearly. "You will find food on the other side. Good luck both of you."

They left the Isle and found the horses and food. After a small meal they went back to the camp in silence.

When they reached it they packed their things that had surprisingly been left alone. Arthur found it a bit amusing and yet dismissed it fairly quickly figuring that the dragon had cast some sort of spell to keep it all safe.

Arthur turned to Merlin after they were all packed. "When we get home, you are going to tell me everything you have done since you got to Camelot in the first place." He said mounting the horse. "Don't you dare protest it." He said pointing at him. "I meant what I said. You are not doing this alone anymore."

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	10. Chapter 10: A New Future

**Okay guys! last chapter! Bit of a whirlwind but hey, it is done! I own no one, enjoy!  
**

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After what seemed like hours they finally arrived back in Arthur's chambers. Arthur directed Merlin to sit down before taking the seat across from him at the table. "Now then." Arthur said carefully. "Talk."

Merlin took a small breath before opening his mouth; there was no escaping this one. However just as he was about to start talking a knight burst threw the door. "Sire!" He said panting lightly. "My apologies, but your father as requested your presence immediately."

Arthur frowned slightly before standing and walking out the door Merlin following behind him curious. What could be so urgent that the King needed to speak with Arthur so soon after his return?

They found out soon enough. A beast of some kind was terrorizing the lower town near the graveyard, it would need to be dealt with before they could sit down for a conversation, and both of them knew that. Arthur had gone about making sure his weaponry was ready for a fight with the beast as Merlin began to pull out the books Gaius had left him and began trying to find the creature in the pages.

Arthur looked up seeing Merlin struggling in his search when it hit him. The boy never had any idea what he was doing. "Great, my life is in the hands of a novice…" He muttered walking over to the table. "Right so what are we looking for?" He asked pulling an unopened book towards himself.

Merlin looked up and blinked lightly. "Excuse me?" He asked surprised that Arthur was just helping without any question. IT clicked and a small smile formed on his lips. "I don't know really… Maybe if we look at what we know about it?"

Arthur nodded pulling out a piece of parchment, a quill and inkbottle. "Right, it attacks at night and stays near graveyards…." He said writing the facts down. "What else?"

"It looks like a large dog of some kind…" Merlin said trailing off in his thought. "Wait! I have heard of them before! Hell Hounds!" He seemed thrilled at identifying what it was and began to look threw the books again hunting for the animal that now had a name.

Arthur smiled lightly seeing the boy so absorbed in the current task. Merlin might not have an idea at the beginning about what he was doing, but by the time he faced whatever it was, he knew what to do. Arthur felt a bit safer as he began to help look for it.

After a few hours of flipping threw pages Merlin found something nearly startling Arthur in his shout of joy. "Here we go!" He said before reading the passage. "Hell Hounds are mythical beasts that commonly guard graveyards and sites of mass death, they do however sometimes attack the still living in order to create more for them to guard. These beasts while still very much alive are considered undead and therefore cannot be killed by normal means." Merlin was grinning like an idiot again. He knew how to deal with the undead. "We need to make a quick trip!" He began to drag Arthur out of the room and out of the castle.

"Merlin, where are we going?" Arthur asked wanting details right now. Really if anything Merlin had just gotten more confusing.

"To a lake to get a sword of yours!" Merlin said now weaving through the forest at a determined pace. Arthur only stared at the back of his manservant who had now let go of him.

"You put one of my swords in a lake!" Arthur snapped not liking the idea at all. "Wait! I am not missing any swords!" He wasn't, he always made sure to check and see if any were missing.

"This is one you don't know about." Merlin said as they reached the lake. Merlin walked right into it and began to search for the golden blade. "Now where did it land?" He mused to himself as he continued to wonder about in the water looking blindly for it.

Arthur rolled his eyes before joining Merlin. "Why is this blade so important?" He asked. "I mean can't you just enchant on of my current ones to kill it?"

"That wouldn't work, only a blade forged with dragons fire can kill the undead." Merlin said not looking up from his task. "This one is forged by dragon's fire… It is meant only for you, yet your father used it and that is why I put it here, for safe keeping."

A small laugh sounded behind them that caused Merlin to whip around. Arthur was a bit slower in his turn and stared at the figure before them. He remembered this girl it was the one he had killed, the one Merlin loved. "Hello Merlin…" She said with a kind smile. She sounded almost as if she was under water. "Are you looking for something?"

Merlin slowly nodded still in shock that he was looking at Freya again. "How…" He started to ask his words not wanting to function.

She smiled more knowing his question. "My soul became bound to this lake." She explained. "Your fire that you used magic to start felt your grief and so bound my soul here. I do not mind at all, it really is pretty here. I thank you for giving me such a lovely home." She smiled reassuringly. "Now what is it that you have misplaced?"

"A golden blade…" Merlin said still processing how Freya had gotten to the lake. "It belongs to Arthur and I only put it here for safe keeping…"

She nodded before disappearing into the water again. Merlin was about to begin searching again when she reappeared. "Is this it?" She asked holding it up in her hands.

"Yeah…" Merlin said amazed. Arthur waded over and picked it up. His eyes never left it, it felt prefect in his hand. "Arthur?" Merlin asked noticing Arthur was not paying attention to anything around him but the blade now in his hand.

The voice snapped him out of his daze. "Right!" Arthur said heading out of the lake. "Time to go Hell Hound hunting!"

Merlin smiled sheepishly at Freya. "I'm sorry, I got to go now." He said before turning to leave.

"I shall be here if you ever wish to talk." She said with a smile before returning to her home.

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They returned at nearly midnight and headed right for the graveyard in the lower town. Arthur had his new blade in hand ready for any attack to come. He stopped though when Merlin placed a hand on his should before they entered the graveyard.

"We can't look directly into its eyes…" Merlin said remembering that bit of information. "We do and it means certain death."

"Good to know." Arthur said thankful Merlin remembered this before they entered the fight. He was about to move forward before a question struck him. "Could you do something so we don't?"

Merlin thought over the spells he knew and grinned as the correct one came to mind. He muttered a few words resting a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "That should do it." He said with a smile. "It will blur your vision a bit, but just enough so you can't clearly see its eyes."

It was true, Arthur's vision had blurred slightly, but things were still pretty clear. "And you?" He asked not wanting to loose this friend of his.

"I will be fine." Merlin said with a grin. "Now come on, the sooner we deal with this the sooner we can sleep."

It had taken them nearly three hours to find and kill it, but the dead had been done. Merlin took the enchantment off Arthur's eyes and they returned to the castle, Arthur once again taking the credit. Arthur made a note in his head Merlin needed some kind of reward for playing up the fact that Arthur was the one who defeated it. Really just how many times had Arthur gotten credit where Merlin had been the real hero?

Later when they were getting ready for bed Arthur called him over. "Now Merlin." He began wanting the full story before he went to sleep. "Talk to me."

Merlin smiled and nodded his head before doing just that.

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**Hope you liked it! R&R!**


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